My story starts at the tender age of 15. An age when you are supposed to be finding out who you are and what you want in life, I was busy trying to figure out how I was going to tell my mother I was pregnant. My mother is bipolar there was no telling what kind of reaction I was going to get from her. She came to pick me up from a friend’s house and to my surprise she told ME that I was pregnant. What started as tears shared between my mother and I, soon turned into screaming and led to harsh blows by my mother's hand. I love my mother dearly but she is a very unpredictable woman. She was the type of woman who would beat you, and I mean literally BEAT you, and then turn around and tell you she was sorry and buy you things. Five months after my 16 birthday I gave birth do a beautiful baby girl. She was and still is the light of my life. I love her so much but at the age of 16 I had no idea what I was in store for. I dropped out of school and had to give up my youth as well as my chance at a swimming scholarship. At first the baby was far too much for me to deal with and I found her and myself crying in the middle of the floor on occasions. When my baby turned 18 months my mother moved out and left me at home with a baby, no car, no drivers license and no money so that she could go live with my dad who had just got released from prison.
I then decided that it was time to go back to school on top of working. Thank goodness the alternative school that I chose to attend had a daycare on campus so I could go check on her whenever I wanted. I was able to catch up with my classmates and even found myself graduating before the rest of my class. I still was without a car so getting back and forth to work was a challenge thank goodness the school had a bus for me to ride every day. After a bit of struggling I had no choice but to move out of my apartment and into another to be closer to my big brother so he and his wife could help me with childcare. By this time my grandmother had given me some money to get a car. I ended up with a 1980 dirt brown Mercedes Benz. She was hideous but she got me from point A to point B for about eight months before she crapped out on me.
Before I knew it I was working in a gentleman’s club where I met my now boyfriend and bad relationship. I really think I latched on to him to fill the hole where I felt my mother should have been. My father was never around growing up so it hurt even worse when she ditched me for him. I tried to reconcile with my mother but it didn’t last long. I ended up moving into a hotel with my boyfriend and we lived there for a year before getting an apartment. By then I had already given birth to my youngest daughter who is now four. I have been through everything with him and things were never good. I have always put up with the put downs, beatings, and name calling from him. I once let my mother visit my house for a few weeks while she was trying to get away from my father and that ended in disaster as well. I asked my boyfriend to please come home before the sun came up because my mother was there and I didn’t want her to know what was really going on between us. I was so ashamed. Of course he didn’t and when he got home they ended up in a screaming match with me in the middle trying to calm them down.
Two weeks after that my mother called my home and told me I had two years to get a car, career, and house or she was taking my kids from me. Two days after that I get a call from my oldest daughters school telling me my mother had come to pick my child up. She stole her for four whole months before I was able to track her down to get my daughter back. It was the longest four months of my whole life. I would lay awake at night and ask myself what was I thinking? Why am I here? Am I really this stupid? Now I am here to take a stand and say NO MORE!!!!
I will gain my freedom and I will never allow myself to be in another bad relationship. My main goal in life is to be a better mother to my girls and to break the cycle of bad relationships for them and myself. I am in school and I will soon be graduating. I will have to go back for my BA before I can make good money to be well off but it’s a start. I have been through a lot in life for only being 25 and I am hoping that I can soon close this chapter to my life and begin a much happier one. I am also hoping to help myself and other women like me to see the light. We can do this ladies! Again please feel free to share your story with me and others. Please leave any comments you wish to. I am accepting donations. In no way are you obligated to donate. My main goal is to be a support to myself and others but every little bit brings me closer to FREEDOM.
